Sexual solicitors will often use code language for happy ending massages. They don’t want to get caught by the authorities for the illegal act of solicitation, so they bait therapists to see if they will go for it. Unfortunately, sometimes the code goes over the head of well-meaning therapists, and they are faced with a sexual solicitor on their table. Know what to look for and how to avoid this awkward and potentially dangerous situation.
Code Words to Avoid
- Completely relaxed
- Full body
- Full service
Avoid using these words at all costs. They are code for clients asking for happy endings. Yes, “full body” is a legitimate term used often in our industry, but you may be attracting inappropriate requests by using it. There are lots of other ways to describe your massage sessions—choose something else.
If you have a new client who is looking to book an appointment with you and complains of pain from doing “the splits,” run, do not walk, away from this client. Saying that they did “the splits” is a red flag and is their way of requesting groin work. The story usually goes something like this: “I slipped on some ice and did the splits. I would like to come in for a massage and get groin work.”
“I fell while riding my bike” is a common one too. Sure, a pulled groin is within our scope, but this approach from a new client screams happy ending.
Now, if you have an established client, like Peggy who works at the post office, who has been your client for a few years and she complains of slipping on the ice and doing the splits, she is probably not looking for a happy ending.
Masseuse vs. Massage Therapist
If you are a massage therapist based in the United States, avoid using the term “masseuse” as it may give potential clients the wrong impression.
Use Your Gut
Use your gut and your instincts. If a new client is leading with “the splits,” and your instincts say run, do not book them. Are there other red flags present? If you are unsure, screen the client further. Not sure how to screen a client? (Go Here)
Legitimate, well-meaning massage clients will typically just book a regular massage. They usually don’t tell you why they are coming in until they get to your office. Why? Because they just want a massage, and that’s all they expect. Solicitors will use code words and behaviors because they are baiting the therapist to make sure they are going to get a happy ending. If you do not see the signs they’re putting out and you book that client, the client assumes they are going to get a happy ending, because, in their mind, you have consented to their requests. Sometimes the requests are intentionally vague. For a complete list of red flags and how to shut down sexual solicitors, take the Respect Massage online continuing education course.
Are You Here Looking for Code Words So You Can Ask for a Happy Ending?
If you are a client looking for code words for happy ending massages and have stumbled across this article and now you are thinking, Sweet! Now I know how to get my happy ending! then let’s be clear: It won’t be from a massage therapist with the Respect Massage logo on their website, social media, or front door.
The logo is our way of saying, “No Happy Endings Here.” That way, you don’t have to waste your time and ours by calling and texting massage therapists using code words. If you see the logo, move on.
Protect You and Your Practice from Solicitors
Take the ABMP Respect Massage CE course, “Ethics: Create A Zero-Tolerance Practice,” for a complete list of 30+ red flags, how to spot sexual solicitors before they are on your schedule, excuses to get out of dangerous solicitations, plus real–life practice scenarios to test how you would react when your boundaries are challenged.
The Logo Works
Protect your business with the Respect Massage logo. Use it as a deterrent for sexual solicitors. The Respect Massage Zero Tolerance logo makes it clear that your business is not a parlor and does not provide happy endings.
Share the #RespectMassage Movement
Share this link and information with other massage therapists and bodyworkers you know. We can shut down sexual solicitations if we stand together and know what to look for.
For more information about ABMP membership, liability insurance, legislative advocacy, podcasts, magazines, and continuing education, go to ABMP.com.